I found this today, from a reputable site. "Alprazolam (Xanax) has become one of the most prescribed drugs in the
I was prescribed Xanax when my father died. The weeks after he passed leading up to his memorial were incredibly stressful and the Xanax did really help me get through it, but then I should have stopped. In retrospect, a medication that is for anxiety disorders and panic attacks should have never been prescribed to me in my opinion. Anxiety isn't the same as stress, or more importantly, grief, which our culture largely ignores. I have never had a panic attack in my life. Anxiety Disorder and/or Panic Disorder is what this drug is supposed to be for, and I have neither of those. I was sad and stressed out, and my doctor doled it out like it was candy. I kept taking it and she kept giving me more. I got to the point where I was taking 6 mg a day! That's insane, and my doctor never ever mentioned to me that it was a lot to take, or the dangers of mixing it with alcohol, or the dangers of trying to stop taking it cold turkey. When my insurance changed, my new doctor was bewildered and somewhat mortified at the amount I had been taking and I switched to a time release version of 1mg twice a day. I've been taking that since, mostly to just not have to go through withdrawal.
By the time I started taking the time release version of the medication, my body was already physically dependent on it. I never used it recreationally, I was using it how it was prescribed. However, the definition of "addict" is as follows: to become physiologically or psychologically dependent on a habit-forming substance. Despite the fact that it was unintentional, yes, I am addicted to this crap. I meet the criteria, although hopefully I won't anymore in a couple of weeks.
With the time release version, I felt nothing. I didn't feel calmer. I was mostly taking it so I didn't have to go through the weaning process because I knew how hard it would be. So...a controlled substance has been in my body every single day because I didn't want to experience the withdrawal symptoms. When is a good time to schedule weeks of hell?? Then our insurance switched again, and Kaiser doesn't cover the time release version. It would be $80 a month and that ain't happening. And so the weaning has begun. I really like my new doctor, and she's been very helpful. The thing is I can't wean on the time release, it's too hard. So I have to do this with the regular Xanax, which makes me feel cloudy, dull, headachey, and sleepy.
By the time I started taking the time release version of the medication, my body was already physically dependent on it. I never used it recreationally, I was using it how it was prescribed. However, the definition of "addict" is as follows: to become physiologically or psychologically dependent on a habit-forming substance. Despite the fact that it was unintentional, yes, I am addicted to this crap. I meet the criteria, although hopefully I won't anymore in a couple of weeks.
With the time release version, I felt nothing. I didn't feel calmer. I was mostly taking it so I didn't have to go through the weaning process because I knew how hard it would be. So...a controlled substance has been in my body every single day because I didn't want to experience the withdrawal symptoms. When is a good time to schedule weeks of hell?? Then our insurance switched again, and Kaiser doesn't cover the time release version. It would be $80 a month and that ain't happening. And so the weaning has begun. I really like my new doctor, and she's been very helpful. The thing is I can't wean on the time release, it's too hard. So I have to do this with the regular Xanax, which makes me feel cloudy, dull, headachey, and sleepy.
I'm glad it's not covered anymore, I believe it to be a blessing. I may have kept taking it forever. Sometimes God has to work pretty hard to get my attention, but I got it.
I am tapering off slowly, as I now know how dangerous it is to do it quickly. How's it going? IT SUCKS. When it's not in my system, I kind of feel like I'm getting the flu all day long. Headache, dizzy, blurred vision, edgy, and stomachaches. When it is in my system, I feel forgetful, dim-witted, and tired. One side effect that I feel all the time is some breathlessness. I always feel like I need to yawn, if that makes sense. This is so fun! And I'm having a hard time sleeping. My doctor suggested another medication to help me sleep and I tried it on Thursday night. OH. MY. GOD. I thought I was going to die. The room spun, I was dizzy, I couldn't turn off my brain, I wanted to throw up, I felt like I was going insane. Those lovely side effects lasted throughout the entire next day. The weirdest side effect of THAT med was the fact that it made my limbs feel like they were burning. My forearms felt like they were horrifically sunburned for over 24 hours, it was nuts. When I did hobble to the bathroom in the morning, tripping over things because my equilibrium was totally compromised, the first thing I did was flush the rest down the toilet. Aaaaaaccckkkkk!!! I'd rather be sleepless.
I think that this class of medication has it's place, for temporary use. I wish to God my doctor had taken the time to explain all of the downfalls to me, but she didn't. Is the responsibility ultimately mine? Of course it is. But I'm here to tell you, this crap is so easy to get used to, and then you need it. Needing it is just plain scary. I could write a long diatribe about how I feel that the drug companies are ruling this country, and knowingly and intentionally creating addicts every day. It would be too long, but I absolutely believe this to be true. The drug companies do NOT care about the well being of human beings, they care about money. If they gave a rat's ass about people and what was best for them, the death stats from benzos and pain killer addicts wouldn't be above those of addicts of illicit illegal drugs now. Okay, I'm done. (Drug companies are evil)
I'm in my last week of vacation. I'm trying to drink water like a madwoman and eat well. I'm trying hard to control my edginess and not take it out on my family. Praying helps, talking to my dad (in heaven) helps, and music helps. Sleep would probably be awesome, but it's been hit and miss. According to the schedule I'm following, I should be done and somewhat human again a week from this coming Sunday. I wonder what crystal clear, alert Jane will be like. I haven't seen her in years, I'm looking forward to the reunion.
Just don't do it.
I think that this class of medication has it's place, for temporary use. I wish to God my doctor had taken the time to explain all of the downfalls to me, but she didn't. Is the responsibility ultimately mine? Of course it is. But I'm here to tell you, this crap is so easy to get used to, and then you need it. Needing it is just plain scary. I could write a long diatribe about how I feel that the drug companies are ruling this country, and knowingly and intentionally creating addicts every day. It would be too long, but I absolutely believe this to be true. The drug companies do NOT care about the well being of human beings, they care about money. If they gave a rat's ass about people and what was best for them, the death stats from benzos and pain killer addicts wouldn't be above those of addicts of illicit illegal drugs now. Okay, I'm done. (Drug companies are evil)
I'm in my last week of vacation. I'm trying to drink water like a madwoman and eat well. I'm trying hard to control my edginess and not take it out on my family. Praying helps, talking to my dad (in heaven) helps, and music helps. Sleep would probably be awesome, but it's been hit and miss. According to the schedule I'm following, I should be done and somewhat human again a week from this coming Sunday. I wonder what crystal clear, alert Jane will be like. I haven't seen her in years, I'm looking forward to the reunion.
Just don't do it.
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