Thursday, April 23, 2015

The Recluse...Freak or Genius?

I have always felt that the reclusive folks in our society are kind of scary. I think about Ted Kaczynski and the weird militia types in Wyoming and Montana. I think about people who spend so much time alone that they lose perspective on how to relate to other human beings.  These days though?


It's not just that I am dead exhausted, with this being the busiest time in my profession. It's more about the horrible swill that we are bombarded with on a daily basis, from the Kylie Jenner challenge to Dr. Oz (hate him) to the nightly local news that invariably has several shootings every day, all in Stockton. It's bad news or stupid news. In regard to politics, I'm done believing anyone. The mudslinging starts sooner and sooner every election season, and it's so nasty, immature, small, petty, and disappointing. I may vanish altogether when the elections REALLY begin. Unless the information is delivered through a comedic lens, I can't stomach it at all. And with Colbert and Jon Stewart stepping down, that may not happen anymore. I don't want to be bitter and disgusted with the information that is shared in our world, I want to not KNOW. Head in the clouds, or the sand, or switched off entirely. Yes, please. Oblivion sounds amazing right now.

Lately I have been fantasizing of running away to Calistoga and holing up in some rustic Inn with nothing but my books, Ipod, and my computer (for writing only). I will eat. And sleep. And read. I will talk to strangers, and only if I feel like it. I will browse awesome bookstores alone. I'll walk around a lot, outside, at sunset. Right now that sounds like the most amazing thing ever. Of course, this is unlikely to happen, at least in the near future. I adore my family, and my 10 and 14 year old children are not known for their silence. I am willing to adapt my fantasy so it fits my reality. Maybe I could run off for a DAY. I crave just being in nature alone with minimal distractions. Maybe I should play hooky once every school year and just run away from home. I'll be home in time for dinner at least!

In the meantime, when I can, I want to DETOX from all the dross that is thrown at our senses daily. No television, no internet, and no NEWS. The news blows. Seriously, there is so little news in our news. BBC America is the only decent, somewhat impartial news out there that covers more than our egocentric, America-obsessed culture. Remember actual news? Remember when it really was reported fairly by trustworthy folks? I am still astounded that journalists are now getting their news from Twitter. TWITTER.  I am fascinated by CNN's tendency to cover a story for 24 hours when there is nothing happening whatsoever. They air footage of correspondents just standing there. Just standing...nothing is happening. Is this where our collective intellect has gone?

When did I turn into this weird old lady? Seriously, I feel that two days away from turning 45, I have officially entered the middlest of all middle age, and that I am justified in saying crap like, "Back in MY day..."  To hell with it.  BACK IN MY DAY.....

  • We spoke to each other face to face, or at least on the phone.
  • No one could photograph and monitor our every move.
  • We went outside to play and got dirty and came home when it got dark.
  • We weren't afraid of freaking everything in life! Not everything caused cancer, or blindness, or autism. 
  • We ate food. Just food.
  • We paid attention to pop culture, but it was not revered like a religion.
  • We got to play in school, and take art and music as part of our normal day.
  • We bought records and tapes at the record store. 
  • We bought concert tickets by standing in line at the record store. It was FAIR. The tickets cost the same amount and people didn't snap them up online and then resell them for five times their worth.
  • If we screwed up in school, it was OUR fault. Not the teacher's fault, or the curriculum's fault, or that "other kid's" fault. 

So I don't believe that I will be moving up to Alaska to live in the bush, or build a cabin in Montana. I won't set up a tent on the beach in Costa Rica. But here is what I will do.  I will read. I will pay less attention to that stupid crap and more attention to my surroundings. My surroundings include:
  • My husband
  • My lovely home
  • My beautiful children
  • Birds
  • Flowers
  • Trees
  • Wind
  • My comfy bed
  • Awesome food
We don't HAVE to pay attention to all the crap, we can choose to become more reclusive in our minds. Or at the very least, a whole hell of a lot more discerning!!  I think I may be turning into my mother. Luckily for me, she's pretty cool. Love you, Mom!