Abercrombie man...nice job, jackass!

I am evil and horrifically insecure...

I have never set foot inside an Abercrombie & Fitch store, or visited their website until today. I think I luckily missed their “era”, and I remember one particular cheesy boy band song that mentioned them in the 90’s. That pretty much made sure I would never shop there, plus the fact that their clothes are insanely overpriced. Today I went to the website and did a search to see if the accusations that are being made against the CEO and his stance against “large” women were true. I was hoping to be able to give Michael Jeffries the benefit of the doubt, just because I do attempt to be fair.

However…this is what I found, a direct quote from said CEO. “In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he said in an interview with Salon. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.” 

Well, alrighty then. I suppose this man doesn’t really have the corner of the market on being a self-involved rich douchebag with no soul. But then last night on the news, I saw a story that mentioned that he will not carry any women’s clothes above a size 10 because he doesn’t want to sell clothes to “fat women.” Yep, anything above a size 10, which is LARGE in his store, is considered fat. I’ve been a lot of sizes in my life, as small as a 4 and as large as a 12. As women and as mothers, our bodies go through a lot of changes over the years, and in MY opinion, these can be beautiful changes. I was a size 10 for a long time, but when my father died, 25 pounds fell off of me within about 4 months. How did I achieve such a "lucky break"? Ummm, massive depression and grief, which resulted in me just not eating. I’d wanted to lose around ten pounds, I’d joked with my poor dad when he was still alive who was shriveling into a tiny, bony creature at the time. "Daddy you're at my goal weight!", which at the time was 140. I got a lot smaller than that after he was gone. I did not lose weight in a healthy way, and people around me became a little alarmed. I have an amazing husband who has loved me at all my various sizes over the past 18 years we’ve been together, and generally has never, ever said a word about my weight. However, when I dropped down to around 123 (I’m 5’8” ½), he said quietly one night, “I don’t want you to lose any more weight.” That's huge for him, he was scared. 

The sad thing about that is the fact that in the fashion and modeling world, that would STILL be considered too big. I have since put weight back on and am now at a size I’m happy with and my weight still fluctuates a tad, but I don’t trip off it. And I'm a hell of a lot healthier than I was at that time.

What the hell happened to us as a society? Marilyn Monroe, one of the most unequivocal beautiful women ever (especially before she became super famous) was a size 12-14. She was curvy and sexy and amazing. Marilyn Monroe would be too fat to shop at Abercrombie. Rita Hayworth would be too fat to shop at Abercrombie. Elizabeth Taylor would be too fat to shop at Abercrombie. I remember a commercial from the 80’s when a bunch of women were standing around admiring another woman and saying, “Look at her! A perfect size 6!” I think it was for some sort of butter-like product. But now, a 6 isn’t considered perfect at all. Look at “The Devil Wears Prada”, which was a film I truly enjoyed. Anne Hathaway’s character was referred to for awhile as “6”, in a low, disapproving tone. I thought it was hilarious, but sad at the same time. The movie was poking fun at the industry, but many of the things are TRUE. Even a 4 isn’t small enough.

So we have gone from this beauty ideal....:

...to this horrifically warped beauty ideal:

I feel like these gals pictured above (two of whom are decent actresses) aren’t really to blame. I think they fell victim to this sick mentality of the day, which the lovely Michael Jeffries doesn’t appear to having any difficulties perpetuating. How convenient…for a MAN to be able to keep this train barreling down the tracks at full speed, with no regard to the health or well being of the thousands of young women who are being told they aren’t good enough.

I will say…I am pleased to see the tide turning just a bit with certain celebrities, even though I don’t really like any of them. In fact, they truly bug the crap out of me, BUT…to Beyonce, and Jennifer Lopez, and even stupid Kim Kardashian (before she got pregnant and lost her mind about her appearance), thank you for being proud of your bodies, which are not a size 00. They’re curvy and womanly and proud, and that is a relief to see in the public eye, at least a little! Two of my closest friends from high school were, and still are, totally gorgeous bombshells. There is not an ounce of anything on them that doesn’t biologically belong to them. They’re curvy and healthy and amazing, and while I can’t state their sizes (nor would I), I can say with certainty that they are NOT a size 4. And they’ve been stopping traffic for the 30 years I’ve known them. My men friends have told me that really skinny women freak them out, and to quote a close friend, “Why would I want to be with a chick who looks like a ten year old boy?” Excellent question. I have no idea why someone would want that. Of course, the teeny women often get plastic surgery and then appear like ten year old boys with water balloons under their t-shirts. Sexy.

Regarding the fat thing…I am deeply offended. I am offended as a woman, a mother, and someone who works in the mental health field with children. I know a young lady who is battling her weight who passed out at school recently because she had decided to stop eating. I know my beautiful daughter who pinches SKIN on her belly and asks me if I think she’s fat. Today’s ideal of beauty is so skewed, so backwards, and so incredibly dangerous. This has to stop, but  sadly, companies like Abercromie just help to exploit and encourage it instead. 

And to you, dear Mr. Jeffries, referring to the “cool kids” you believe you are marketing to...firstly, having worked with children forever and in my current profession as a school psychologist for 16 years, I can tell you some news. Even the “cool kids” feel like they don’t belong. Growing up sucks, and it sucks for most, although I’m sure that some suffer more than others. The “cool kids”, feeling pressured to perpetuate that facade, may swindle their parents into purchasing a $98 pair of jeans in a size 2 (that I might be able to get half of my calf into). But I’d imagine it’s really not going to make them feel gorgeous and wonderful, they are chasing an ideal that is unrealistic and sick. From a purely psychological standpoint, and Psych 101 at that, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you probably weren’t the Prom King in high school. Methinks he doth protest too much. Good luck trying to compensate for ALL your obvious insecurities and lack of character, sir. Because for all your grandstanding about wanting to attract “cool” kids and good looking people, you’re not exactly eye-candy.

Enjoy hell.